Influence? The fact that I could sit down and write a list of how these people influenced me suggests that the influence did not change me in any deep way. These people are all my elders, and maybe I feel distanced from them. The person whose influence shook me to the deepest level is a person whose influence is nearly impossible to describe. Christen Leah Biddle, the best friend I’ve ever had, changed me, and I changed her at one of the most crucial times in our lives: the eighth grade. We developed our personalities, our senses of humor, and our love for movies at the same time and in the same way. It would devalue her influence to tell it; I am what I am because of her, I cannot say that about anybody else.
Christen came to my school in the eighth grade, and we immediately clicked. Before she came, I didn’t feel like an outsider, as I had my friends that I had known since first grade. However, until Christen, I never had anyone my age to categorize with from top to bottom. She made me feel sure in who I was. At this awkward stage in our lives, we found unsuspecting admiration in each other. We both were crazed by movies and had a similar sense of humor. We had the same problems and the same thoughts. That was all it took.
Halfway through that same year, Christen and I became inseparable. Our yearbook even had a section that lists the names of students and what they were never seen without. Under Christen, it read: “Kadrick,” and under Kadrick: “Christen.” I became a staple at her house and she at mine. We no longer had to ask our parents if it was ok to have a sleepover on weekends, they assumed we would. On weekdays, we usually walked over to her house, which was near school, and hung out there till I had to go home. Our favorite past time on those long afternoons after school was to walk to the nearby Wal-Mart and get a bag of chips and two 24 oz. Sprites. Watching a movie, we would sit on her couch with our chips and Sprite and talk about our dreams of working together in the movies. Christen wanted to be a director and actor, and I wanted to be an actor and a playwright/screenwriter. It was the perfect combination. We even tried writing a few scripts together.
As two eighth graders, it wasn’t all skips through the park either. We were extremely competitive and would get into brutal fights for apparently no reason at all. One time, I knocked out one of her teeth, but I don’t remember what started the fight. I think that our connection was so deep that we could not have normal emotions toward each other. As friends, we were best friends, but in an argument, we wanted to fight each other to the death. Still, the Wrestlemania days were rare; normally, the strength of that connection was a good thing. I was pretty shy about other girls besides Christen, and when I did talk about them with other guys, I would usually just say a girl was “hot.” With Christen, I could really talk about girls and who they were, I didn’t have to put on my public “cool” front, but could really say what I felt about a girl because we had that connection. I felt more open and comfortable because my best friend was a girl.
Then we went to different high schools. We tried to maintain the friendship, and you might think we would have been able to since we had been so close, but we drifted apart. Our friendship was based on being near each other constantly, of growing up in the same town, under the same conditions, with the same hopes, fears, and dreams. Now we still go to movies occasionally and hang out, but it’s not the same, and we both know it. I thought Christen and I would be friends forever, and maybe we will be. But the way things look right now, I doubt we will ever reconnect. Our friendship in the eighth grade was supernatural, and lightning doesn’t strike twice.
Me and Christens favorite teacher from middle school left, but I handled it. I learned a great deal from him, and I appreciate him for the subject he taught and the way that he taught it. I will probably miss my parents when I leave for Air Force, but I doubt the separation will hurt me greatly since the connection between parents and children will always be there. With Christen, I lost the best friend I ever had, and I lost that forever. Losing that kind of bond cuts deep, and I know it’s the type of wound that doesn’t heal. It’s the type of wound you just live with.
But just because we’re not best friends anymore, it doesn’t slight/make you forget the times we had when we were friends. Those times are what influenced me so deeply. No, Christen did not work some lesson into my heart, she worked herself into my heart, and even if I never see the girl again she changed me forever. I think that finding someone who you truly connect with and feel that you were fated to meet, someone who you feel truly understands you and makes you feel special, I think meeting someone like that is one of the most profound experiences you can have.