BRYANT FREEMAN MENS HEALTH WHY ARE BOYS MEN? This paper is going to describe various key factors explaining why boys are boys, men are men, and how boys adapt in this male dominant society to become men. Growing up in Pensacola Florida in a single parent home wasn’t something I wished are hoped for, but something I had to adapt to. My mother, even though she couldn’t be the male role model I needed, help me understand what roles I’m expected to take as a young man. “Let the boys be boys,” was a phrase used by hip hop legends “onyx” portraying a message that boys are going to be boys no matter what. So I ask my self what makes a boy, a boy? Rambo like characteristics? Muscles? Short hair? Wearing T-shirts and jeans or playing with sporting equipment? Well last I remember; the main characteristics that boys shared were penises. The role gender association play in the lives of our children can sometimes affect them negatively.
The messages that gender roles send, is that in order to be part of society, you must fit into the norm trying to accomplish what society expects of you; But all the while, trying to incorporate individuality and establishing ones sense of self. Two conflicting ideas that can confuse a child and also alter the way they live their lives. There are two colors that are designated to babies that serve one purpose and one purpose only. Most infant boys were the color blue and girls wear pink. Seeing that it is difficult to determine the sex of an infant without general exposure to the genitals, most parents choose to clothe they ” re young child in the respective colors so people will know whether it is a boy or a girl. After all, what male infant wears pink? When the children grow older, do they still continue the practice the color identification game? This is where it changes, When boys reach the age where they start dressing themselves and start buying their own clothes, they will continue to wear the blues and the greens and even yellows and reds, but not pink or violet, cause those are “girly” colors.
Girls on the other hand, when they reach the same age still continue to wear the pink and violets and can even wear the blues, yellows, blacks, and greens. So why can girls make the “cross-over” without being teased or mocked but boys cant without being called a gay or a fagot. The clothing issue goes farther than that. The fashion industry does make boundaries with clothing.
There is women’s clothing and men’s clothing. Women can wear men’s clothing, and at times its the stylish thing to do. Young girls can dress like boys or wear boys clothing and at times will only be called a tom-boy, but that is acceptable to society. Let’s see a man in public wearing a dress, and we stop and go out of our way to break our necks just so we can get a good look.
Some even have the nerve to yell obscenities and gossip out loud. Most people don’t mock ethnic men for wearing ethnic clothing that highly resembles dresses or skirts, so why don’t American society accept it with non-ethnic men that do it because they want to. As much as fashion and clothing affect the way our children think and act, much of that is advertised through their toys and the entertainment business. When I was a young boy, my mom always bought me basketballs, baseball mitts, water guns, GI JOE figurines or video games.
As opposed to a female who would receive frilly dresses, board games, water balloons, and Barbie dolls. I know I’m not alone. Millions of guys receive the same things I did and many girls received similar gifts growing up as well. Many guys were scolded for playing with girls toys because mommy and daddy said, “Those toys are for girls, go play with your GI JOE.” Parents just didn’t want to see their little boys acting like girls.
Have you ever wondered why males are not for the most part very good with children? It is because they weren’t allowed to play with dolls. When children are at the age of two to seven; that is the period of their lives where they will learn the most information. That is about the age gap where many boys would like to play with dolls but are discouraged especially by their fathers to do so. If they are allowed to play with dolls, they learn how to care for the dolls and treat them well, and those are the practices females carry on into motherhood.
One of the greatest influences on children is the entertainment industry. They show us what they feel are the images we should shape ourselves after. They promote beauty, material possessions, money and power. Look at the magazines that are aimed at young woman such as Seventeen, YM, Vogue, Cosmopolitan, Mademoiselle, and Glamour. The list is endless.
The all show young girls, how to apply their make-up, the season’s “must have” wardrobe, horoscopes, and the perfect look. Young girls have died trying to achieve “the look” that society sees as beautiful. Young girls are told they must be beautiful, slender, and the object of a man’s desire. As corrupt as it sounds, entertainment media thrives on this and goes as far as they can to make sure they reach every young girl across the world. Look at the magazines aimed at young boys, there is a totally different theme being carried out. Most boys magazines are comic, sport, and action orientated.
The message is totally different. They model they way they dress according to their favorite musicians, actors or sports figure. Perhaps if women’s magazines were more aimed at how to protect yourself from violence, STD’s, unplanned pregnancies or how to be confident, and promote education, sports, extra-curricular activities instead of how to know if your popular, or the must have lipstick of the fall, or how to know if he likes you, or what your favorite Back street boy likes and dislikes, then maybe the rate of abortions, teen pregnancies, STD’s, obesity, eating disorders, depression, date rape, kidnappings and domestic violence would decrease; Whether they like it or not, society has a responsibility. Not too long ago, I had a best friend shot and killed right before my eyes giving me a whole different aspect and overview of life and its obstacles. Death can change how men display their power or how they use their existing power by altering their behavior. Power is an emotionally strong element to have; power can make someone feel better by knowing that they have control over someone or something else.
When fear is present, power can aid in easing the anxiety by giving the person the emotional lift that is present when control is felt. Although death affects everyone’s behavior differently, knowledge of one’s imminent death is a main force behind behavioral changes. This knowledge causes emotions that motivate men to act in ways that they normally would not. There are some positive aspects of gender roles that even I like and wish was still implemented as a part of daily living and modern courtship. It is good to see that many men still open the car doors for their ladies, take them out to dinner and a movie, and initiate contact between the two. Eventhough it is the new millennium, women are being more and more independent and paying the bills and initiating first contact.
The most negative affect applying gender roles to the way you raise your children is that children are motivated to find their own identity. Parents often tell their children to think for themselves or be their own person but they don’t understand that when they bombard their children with certain practices, they are sending a mixed message. Yes, it’s a message most children are to young to understand but its not the children who need their eyes opened, it’s the parents. Many children, upon reaching adolescence are able to see past the stereotypes and figure out who they are, what they like or dislike, and what is right and what is wrong, but it’s what they go through that is dangerous. When there is no support system therefore the child, then will go through psychological problems and often look towards food or vigorous activity and suffer from eating disorders and depression and some commit suicide, all because they weren’t able to play the role their parents molded for them.
In this essay, I explained the key factors that turn boys to men and how society views the common male role today. Many parents would probably tell their children this type of situation, Pink is for girls, take it off. What are you gay or something. Are you a sissy? Act like a boy.” It is brought upon so negatively and makes the child feel low and incompetent, especially if they are told this by their fathers.
Not everyone will agree with my point of view and that is something I understand, but its all about being open-minded which is obviously not the message gender roles send. Works Cited: 1. Invitation to Health: Power of Prevention, eighth edition. California: Brooks/Cole, 1990. Richards, Orland. 2.
You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. New York: Ballantine, 1990. 3. www. PsychologicalEffectsofGender Roles. com.