The Three Little Pigs You may have heard of the three little pigs, but, its a fake and heres the true story. There was a mummy pig, a daddy pig and three little pigs. The three little pigs mum said to them Youre old enough to live on your own now, so go away! And with that, she kicked them out the house! The little pigs walked in silence for a bit because they were shocked about what had just happened but finally the eldest little pig shouted at the others Lets play hide and seek! YEAH! squealed the youngest little pig. No. said the middle little pig firmly Im going to build my house first. Suit yourself.
Replied the eldest little pig snottily. The eldest little pig and the youngest little pig ran off to play hide and seek while the middle little pig set off for a builders yard. The middle little pig walked for a week to get to the builders yard and when he got there he asked the first builder he saw, Can I have some bricks to build my house with please? Course you can. Replied the builder merrily Thank-you! sang the middle little pig. The middle little pig skipped all the way to where he was going to build his home singing, Im going to build a home, Im going to build a home! He walked for a week and then set about building his home but what he didnt know was that there was a builders yard only a days walk from where he was, so the other two little pigs had built a very big, grand house, made of the finest bricks and were now living together. Whilst all this was happening over on the other side of the forest William Wolf was very upset because his granny was dying and then he would have no one left in his wolfie world.
He was holding her paw this very moment when she said William, go catch your granny one last decent meal before she dies. Oh, yes of course granny I I Ill go catch us something nice to eat shall I. Stuttered William. So he set out to find his granny a nice meal, so when he came to this very posh looking house he knocked on the door and shouted, What animal lives in here? the reply came Two little pigs do not live here! Well would one of you like to be a last meal for my dying granny? shouted back William. Ummmmmmmmm, not really no! whimpered the eldest little pig. Oh, what a shame. Came the disappointed answer from William I guess Ill have to huff and puff and blow your house down! Good luck! sniggered the youngest little pig. William huffed and he puffed but nothing was working, then an idea struck him, Ill climb down their chimney.
Im going to climb down your chimney now! said William smugly! We dont have a chimney! hooted the two little pigs with laughter. Oh damn thought William and after that he walked away to find a middle little pig with a half built house. Well what have we got here William thought to himself. The middle little pig was aware of the wolfs presence and he jumped inside his half built house and screamed Dont come any closer because Ill never let you in, not on the hairs of my chinny chin chin! William just rolled around with laughter and eventually jumped inside the house and growled, Ive got you now little pig! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! screamed the middle little pig. William killed him and shoved the little pig in a bag he found lying on the floor. William trotted back and as he went past the eldest and the youngest little pigs house he taunted, Ive killed your brother doo dah, doo dah! And ran off laughing. Oh our poor brother.
Sniffed the youngest little pig. He should have come and lived with us, then he would still be alive. Said the eldest little pig in a huff. Dont be so insensitive, he didnt know there was a wolf around. Snapped the youngest little pig. Meanwhile William had just got home and discovered his granny had been shot while he was out and was crying so loud it sounded like howling.
I shouldnt have gone out. Snivelled William. And later he started to tuck into some bacon and sausage kebabs after a toast to his dearest granny, completely forgetting the two little pigs that were now moaning about, Why is life so unfair? So always, boys and girls, play before work, stick with friends and you might save lives! (Not).