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The Passage
Jessica Brewer
2/28/2010
English 121
ESSAY
The Passage
My life as a teenager was over, there were no announcements, no invitations to a party, no traditional secrets given from the elders, yet I felt that a change occurred. This significant event would forever change my life.
In many cultures around the world teenager is really not acknowledged. The child becomes an adult with a series of rituals and initiations. Most have a ceremony where different rituals are performed to transition the child into an adult. The parents and the community are involved in the preparation and they all take part in the celebration. Depending on the tribe or the religious sect different initiations take place.
On a tiny Pacific Island of Pentecost boys as young as five years old engage in an ancient tradition, or precursor to modern day bungee jumping as part of the initiation for the coming of age ritual. This ritual could be considered suicidal, but in this tribe it is considered heroic and brave. The boys jump from rickety towers 100 ft. high and have to touch the ground with their head. This is to appease the God’s for a good yam harvest. This extreme ritual separates the men from the boys.
In New Guinea the young men have to put on gloves that are embedded with red ants, and endure this pain for approximately 10 minutes. The elders of the tribe support the participant, and perform dances and songs. Afterwards the man has achieved his manhood. If the young man does not participate in the ritual, or is fearful he will not be allowed to marry, own land, or participate in the community or tribal activities. He is shunned.
In the Jewish community the rites of passage happens to a boy when he is about 13. The preparation begins at least a year before the actual celebration. He learns secrets of his religious ancestors and Hebrew. He learns a series of prayer and dedication to God that empowers his crossing over. At birth usually he is circumcised, but in some tribes in Africa circumcision can happen when a young man is 13-20. There are also circumcision rituals for women.
In a Mexican Village a mother prepares her daughter for Quincera. The mother talks to her daughter and she dresses in her dress and explains the duties and manners of a woman. She introduces her daughter formally to her guests, and the celebration begins as a new woman.
A row of children walk hand in hand down the aisle of a cathedral, the girls on one side, the boys as their partners. The girls look like miniature brides, and the boys in suits. They are walking towards the priest who will give them confirmation. Here they will pray and commit to their religious beliefs and outwardly confess to their faith. The catholic community will welcome them, and then the celebration takes place.
My teachings were a casual everyday occurrence. Lessons were taught over dinner, in the car ride going to school, in hindsight from my mother the guru, from observing others who have made terrible mistakes and by good information. I realized that I had the power to choose. I could choose positive things in my life, or I could go with negative. I think my mother took advantage of the time we had driving to school to talk to me about life. I had no choice considering that I was sitting right next to her in the car. I would try to listen to my music, but she wasn’t having it, so I would have to listen to the lectures on education, and plans for my life half heartedly. I would nod and act like I was listening that seemed to satisfy her. I wasn’t really interested and besides that was tomorrow. It seemed that my mother never ran out of energy or patience when she was discussing my future. She never stopped. It was a ritual. Over and over again like a broken record she would go on about the importance of education, making the right choices, choosing the right friends, and she thought that I should know what was happening in the world. Oh, and the stories about when she was a girl and how she never had the opportunities that girls have now. She also went on about civil rights, and how women fought for the vote. What did I care? Then it happened.
The day came and I turned 16. I rushed to get dressed and woke my mom. Today was the day. The day I get to have my driver’s license. We drove to the test and I got my license. I was changed. I was able to drive on my own now. All at once I felt a surge of excitement. With this privilege I had to be very responsible. I attended a defensive driving class so I knew how serious it is to drive responsibly; it wasn’t a right but a privilege to drive. This was the beginning of the enlightenment. I began thinking about my future. I saw most of my friends make bad choices and I wasn’t going to do that. I wanted to wake up in the morning and love the job I had, and I wanted to make the right choices in life. Subconsciously those lectures seeped in. Suddenly, I felt different; I felt that I had aged. I was actually agreeing with some of the information my mom had told me. Now, I knew something was different. I had passed through that childlike phase and arrived at a rational aware young woman. I could see the childlike behavior from before, and it no longer interested me. Those things were the past. I wanted to explore, learn, and accept responsibilities. I started making my own appointments and planning my week. I organized my schedule with productive activities. I made goals, short term and long term, and started on my short term list immediately. I started doing chores and errands without my parent telling me to. I set my alarm clock and picked classes at times that would work for me. I started early looking for summer jobs and filled out applications to meet the deadlines. I took on the responsibility of cleaning the car, inside and out. I found that the lectures started to decline. My mother looked at me differently too. She sort of had this look of approval.
It is unfortunate that today there is a breakdown of the American family and teens do not have guides or mentors to help them establish adulthood. There are children having children. Teens join gangs and expose themselves to violent initiations just for a sense of belonging. There are teens committing suicide at a high rate, and most are addicted to drugs. You cannot make good choices if you have a lack of information. The community lacks community centers for teens, and parents are either absent, or dysfunctional. I was lucky to have a guide, someone who unfailingly gave me the information that I needed to become a rational youth. Despite my rebellion I can see how beneficial it is to have someone in your life that cares enough to give you the guidance needed to make good choices. I feel that I have made gigantic leaps of growth in this last year, and I want to continue to grow and make good choices.
Today very few cultures practice the rite of passage, and it has been altered a great deal. The ancients believed there could be no growth without suffering, that’s probably why the rituals were so gruesome. Courage, wisdom, secrets and histories, these were the lesson of the teens. The elders of the tribe were not discarded but valued, and respected; they were the true teachers for the teens. The teen comes forth a new man or woman and then the celebration begins.
So the event isn’t inscribed on a plaque, there isn’t a certificate, and I hardly remember when the lessons started, but I do remember the feeling, the experience of feeling grown up. The freedom I felt, the pride I felt that I could make good decisions. I felt good about myself, as I had never felt before. There was a shadow following me, but it was of a different statute. It was tall, alert, rational and somewhat wise. I no longer felt the need to cling to childish things; I set them down and moved on to a different level. I knew though that I had the guru, and that she would ever be my wise man, she would patiently walk beside me, and wait..