Explain why positive relationships with children and young people are important and how these are built and maintained
It is important to have a positive relationship with children and young adults because if they feel comfortable and secure with the adult and their setting weather it is a childminder, a nursery or a school they will separate more easily from their parent /carer, if they feel emotionally secure they are more likely to participate in the play and learning activities. Children need to have a strong relationship with the staff to feel comfortable and secure this will help them to enjoy themselves and less likely to show unwanted behaviour. From the staffs point of view a close relationship means they learn to recognise their needs and are able to meet these needs, the staff can also recognise their expressions and emotions and are able to respond quickly and more effectively to the child, this makes the child more comfortable and confident so they then talk to the staff enabling their language to develop weather they are very young and just learning to speak or are older and learning more complex words and sentences.
A strong relationship is also needed so that the staff knows the child they know where they sit on a development chart and can plan activities that the child will enjoy and be interested in and will develop from. One of the most important ways to build a relationship is communications whether it is smiling and cooing to a new born baby or having a discussion with a young adult effective communication is a must. There are also other principles of building a relationship being consistent whether this is keeping rules and behaviour boundaries or making sure you do not have mood swings this helps the children and young adults know where they are and where their boundaries are. Being fair when you are sorting out conflicts and disagreements by listening to what they say and not jumping to conclusions then helping them if possible to find a way through it taking everyone’s needs into consideration. We also need to show respect and courtesy to children and young people so that they can learn how to show respect and be courteous to other people, by valuing their individuality as they grow up they will learn to value others individuality.
For children and young people to trust us we need to keep are promises and honour are commitments if we tell them they can paint or, play football the next day then we must let them or they will stop trusting us and they will think it is ok for them to brake their promises and commitments. When they trust us they may speak to us in confidence although we can never promise to maintain confidentiality if the child reveals that they have been abused, or that there is a danger that they may be harmed, keeping confidentiality is an important part of working with children, young adults and others. Parents may give you confidential information about their child to help you in your work but will trust that you will not pass the information on to other unless it is essential for them to know, if they think their information is becoming a source of gossip or interest this will break the confidentiality then the trust you have built up with then will break down and so will the relationship.
The way to build relationships with children and young people changes according to their age, for babies it is essential to form an ‘attachment’ or special bond with their key person in order to compensate for the absence of their parent/carer in my setting we do this by having settling in sessions when the parent/carer stays with the baby and the key person, then when the baby is left they are handed straight to their key person who is their main carer while in the setting then at the end of their session the key person hands the baby back to their mother, we do this with all the children when they first start, then when their confidence grows they will come in themselves and you find that they tend to go and find their key person. All the babies are encouraged to spend time with other members of staff so that they can build a relationship with them then if their key worker is absent they will have another familiar face that they can go to.
With babies and small children physical contact helps build a strong relationship they enjoy being held and cuddled this will help a child feel wanted and reassured, body language is also important a baby needs eye contact and to be responded to quickly, they tune into a human face and can recognise when an adult is enjoying being with them. An older child will look at your face to gage your reaction to things they do they can often work out whether you are happy or cross with them by doing this, they will still need physical contact but not as much as a baby. From around 3 many children become more confident around people they do not know well and find it easier to be separated from their parent/carer they enjoy being with other children and gain enjoyment from playing with them. They will need some physical contact but will look for more verbal reassurance and approval. This is because their language has developed; children who do not speak/understand the language or have language delays may need more physical reassurance.
From 7 children need adults to talk to them but more important they need to listen to them and need you to talk through their thoughts, ideas and feelings and be able to reassure them when they have concerns. It is important to make time to listen to the children this age (7-11) as they may not talk at the time, they may need time to reflect then come back to you later to talk it through, they also need listened to as this is when they start to develop their own views and opinions and they need to feel that you are interested in them. At this age you need to make sure you give reassurance and approval unconditionally as children who learn that they are valued only if they are achieving or pleasing an adult may lose confidence.
Young people still need good relationships with adults. In many ways these relationships are as important as ever. Young people may need to turn to adults for advise and reassurance as they go through a lot of changes in their life at this time as well as physical changes they will go through emotional changes as the grow from a child to an adult. It is important not to dismiss what we think are trivial problems as they are important to them. Young people can be good at seeking out adults that will listen and empathise with them they need this kind of relationship as they do not always communicate deep insures straight away they need someone to talk to generally and then when they trust them they may open up. If young people think they are not being listened to they may stop communicating all together so it is the responsibility of the adult to keep communications open at all times.