Hope is brought back into the picture; the hope of not being hurt again; the hope of finding love again; the hope of actually being happy one more time in your life that’s been a huge mess. Miraculously, you do find love again and you fall deeper. He loves you for who you are and your love for him is so great that you’re willing to throw away your world because nothing else mattered but him. But doesn’t this seem “de-ja-vu”? Didn’t your first love accept you the way you were and your love for him was also so great; that nothing else mattered? Are we in this constant circle of love? That we love, we lost, and love again, only to repeat the whole cycle? We search for love over and over again in different places, sacrifice hurting our hearts to find the “true love” of our life. That one guy that is perfect to you, and only for you. Are these emotions just a broken record player playing over and over again with our hearts? Why do we make ourselves so vulnerable to heartache? How do we stay in these relationships when we know its going to end? Is it denial? Love is blind; or do we confuse it with infatuation? “Infatuation” was just a word given to an emotion that people needed an excuse of having when their love didn’t work out. Deep down in our hearts we know things will come to a stop and a new record gets put on the machine.
The play button will be pressed again and the rotation of the love life repeats itself, new and lively, until the record gets old and weary again and can’t play no more. We wish our relationships turn out to be a “classic”. We wish there was a happily ever after. There are so many things we want out of life and yet, are not given to us. Do we blind ourselves to what we don’t want to accept? Do we review everything wrong of that person and still make it seem right? Are we fated to have this endless merry-go-round of actually trying to get somewhere but only end up where you started? We don’t want our love to die because it’s a great feeling; the feeling of love. That’s why they say “It’s better to have love and lost then never to have loved at all”. I read in a book once that a minute of being in love can last you a lifetime of memories because you recall everything that happens in those few seconds. A picture can say a thousand words so how about 60 seconds of it? You can recall the moment in time, frozen, as you were stuck fixated on your love at first sight.
You can recall the scent that lingered in the air, the air you breathed, the heaviness in your chest that stopped you from breathing, and the sudden hot rush flushed to your face. The perspiration forming on the palms of your hands that stuck like glue. You hear the voice in your head whispering ‘this is the one’. That single moment of love is perfect; untouched. You know no wrongs, no rights, no rules; nothing to get in your way of loving this person with all your being. You wish you can reach out and press pause.
Your first love is great. “You never forget your first love”. They open your eyes on love’s utopian dream and fantasies. Second love’s even more amazing yet doubles the trouble; twice the love, twice the happiness, twice the heartache. I’ve learned that one can find love anywhere. If you look for love, you will eventually find it.
Though, you shouldn’t be out looking for love because it might just be the wrong kind. Love will find a way and if it’s the true love, it will find you..