Per. 1 AP English October 7, 2004 Football Referees: Friends or Foes? In football referees can be categorized into three types -Blind, Deaf, and Dumb. Being a football player myself, I have experienced all of these different types and I am still trying to discover which one I like best. The referees categorized as blind were cursed with the inability to see more than two feet in front of their faces. No matter how blatantly obvious a penalty appears to be, this type of referee will flabbergast the stadium by making no call. In fact, the absence of penalties has led fans of the game to speculate as to the real cause of these referees’ optical challenges.
Some suggest that perhaps their eyes have nothing wrong with them at all. Just maybe, the bright stadium lights draw in all of their attention. While they focus on the lights, watching the game becomes nearly impossible. Another suggestion is that they left their glasses in their other striped shirt and the whole game is nothing but a blur. Regardless of the cause of their visual disturbance, blind refs continue to shock the crowd with their inability to see the game as well as any fan seated in the cheap seats of the stadium. The referees labeled as deaf I like to consider as the aristocrats of all the referees.
These refs believe that they were born with a superior ability to see the game. They believe that wherever they position themselves on the field, they have the capability to see the game better than any other individual. This “ability” of theirs results in them turning a deaf ear to the fans, the coaches, and even their fellow referees when it comes to deciding on a penalty. They are very capable, however, of reading lips and hand gestures and will penalize any angry player or coach who goes too far in their attempt to rectify the bad call.
The third type of referee is the dumb ref. This type actually falls into two sub-categories. The first of these is the “absent-minded’ referee. For these referees the game of football requires too much thought for them to understand and appreciate it.
Luckily, for them, they have found other ways to entertain themselves. For instance, these referees often try to join in with the arena’s band by blowing their whistles at every chance possible. Also, they have invented a game which I like to call “Toss & Fall.” The rules of this game are that every chance possible you must toss your penalty flag into the air, then watch it fall to the ground. I will never understand why they enjoy this so much but I have noticed that this game is often played on the field. The other type of dumb referee is the “uneducated” referee. These officials never bother to completely learn all the rules of football but consider themselves capable of making the calls anyway.
They call penalties that are not infractions at all but part of legitimate play. These referees have become masters of disguise and by classifying these false infractions in an arbitrary way they are able to make them stick anyway. To prevent misunderstanding, I don’t want people to think that I disprove of the referees’ profession. Actually, I have learned to respect and accept all the different varieties of referees.
I have just come to recognize a very simple fact. As long as I don’t expect a perfect referee, I will not be disappointed when I don’t get one.