Close Relationships between Men and Women Introduction The question, discussed in this research is, perhaps, one of the most widely discussed questions in today’s society. Customary it is not discussed in an absolutely open way, but still it does not mean that the problem does not exist. Interpersonal relationships seems to be a great mystery of the mankind. People do not exist without intercommunication it is simply impossible, especially in the up-to-date world. During the centuries a great many of different scientists psychologists, sociologists, sexologists, philosophers are toiling for the welfare of humanity in order to shed light to some aspects of the interpersonal relationships, to disclose the reasons of the conflicts etc. Of course, among the other items of such a long list of necessary explorations one can find a question of relationships between men and women. Close relationships are also being actively-discussed. That is not an easy question, I should admit! Relationships between men and women had never been an easy question even for the most wise persons. According to the ideal of the mutual relations, man and woman must be in sympathy one with another in all meanings of the expression.
Their interconnection must be harmonious, or, by telling that poetically, full of harmony and the beautiful. But, unfortunately, the practical life is usually too far from the lofty ideals. Whatever the case, somebody of the wise people somewhen said, that a dispute gives rise to the truth. That is why this essay should be more harsh critical, than neutrally and mildly analytical. While choosing a book, which I would talk about, Ive read few works on the topic. So, Ive chosen a book, written by Laura Doyle.
It is her best-selling self-help book named The Surrendered Wife. It should be stressed, that to most people from my circle, who read this book, the book itself leaved nothing but many doubts on the ideas and suggestions, which were proposed there. In some chapters of the book it is notable, that many points are extraneous to the author herself. It is difficult to understand some authors, who try to teach the people without having studied the subject perfectly on their own experience. The book in general is not bad, it is a Doyles best-seller and is interesting today to a great number of housewives, girls etc. Suggestion 1 Laura Doyle gives a strange advise.
She proposes to let the husband handle the finances. It is clear, that, telling this, Doyle did not think deeply on many important aspects which can appear in this situation. And what if a woman works too? According to the authors advise, a woman must give all the earned money give to her husband, telling, Here you are, honey?! Perhaps, that is not the best variant. Moreover, it can put some aspects of the relationships into disorder and, of course, result in a conflict. For example, a woman wants to earn some money and to buy some clothes or something pleasant for herself in the end of month. Lets remember, that we are talking about a woman, who has a job and some kind of stability in financial sphere.
That is absolutely normal and natural thing for all the women. Judging from psychology of many women it is also possible to say, that it is necessary. And what do we have if according with the authors opinion? According to the authors opinion, a woman must not have her own money at all. Doyle didnt say it openly, but this conclusion comes out itself. If a woman does so, she automatically turns to be dependable from her husband. One cant name a working women, who would do such an action in a voluntarily way with a happy smile on her face.
If a woman does not work, but a man do, the expression let your husband handle the finances takes on special importance. In this case a woman is in absolute financial dependence on her husband. However, it must not be inconveniently for her, because in such variant it is even very comfortable. Such kind of womans existence is widely spread today. But, as well as a business-woman lifestyle. By the way, a business-woman lifestyle is today more desirable by women, than sitting at home and please, or even oblige the husband. When a woman stays all the days at home and has the right to be called a housewife, in most cases she soon can admit that it becomes more and more hard to please her sweetheart.
Sometimes a situation can come to absurd. Maybe such women should cook some delicious every day and serve it naked in order to male their husbands become happy? So, let us going on with the topic. Analysing all the things being said above one can say with assurance, that a woman needs some kind of independence, whatever it were. Financial independence also plays a great role here. Another factor, which could influence the situation is mentality. It is common knowledge, that the representatives of different cultures assimilate the information in their own way.
Talking about the representatives of different cultures one should stress, that the field of disputes on the topic is wide enough and such questions are sometimes too deep to speak about them in a general way. Suggestion 2 Another idea of the author is simple, but important. The idea is important for man, again, because by no means not every woman will support the proposed suggestion. However, the other suggestion proposes to tell him, that you need the help of a big strong man. These words could be interpreted and understood in different ways. The interpretation depends only on type of womans character, which can be strong or, on the contrary, weak.
After reading some chapters of Daile Karnegies books it becomes completely clear which feelings would have a man while hearing such words. First of all, he would feel that he is desired and his proper pride, his self-respect would begin to blossom like a wonderful flower in spring. If a man would usually hear such phrases, as I need you, or I need your help, he would blossom for a long time. In many cases such approach from the direction of wife can be a key to calmness, composure, peace and absence of some negative emotions at home. But can it be so during a long period of time? Most likely, not. Moreover, such approach seems to be something insincere, piece and synthetical. This role, the role of a weak woman could be played only by really weak woman in both aspects, physically and morally.
In this case nobody can foresee the finish. Thus, if everything was good in the beginning, it can finally develop in some kind of insincere and synthetical relationships in general. Undoubtfully, the author had not any experience like that in her life, because giving advises like that she did not take into consideration many important aspects, some of which were outlined above. What deserves special attention among all the Doyles suggestions is her advice, which could be found in Chapter Seven. She proposes smile, saying Thank you and sit back and let him a wonderful possibility to wash up the glasses and plates. Doyles commentation on that sounds very simply.
She says, that a woman deserves to have some sweet, beautiful, luxurious things in her life and her man deserves the pleasure of giving them to her. Well, the statement is also so doubtful and provokes many discussions and sceptical smiles as the other Doyles statements. But still, it deserves special attention because of its naturalness, simplicity and a possibility of relaxing for woman, who tirelessly works at home with the passing of every day in order to cook delicious food for her sweetheart, make their home clean and cosy and to please her husband in general. But advising that the author had to take into consideration, that the man may soon be fed up of washing the dishes and being happy of it. That is why Doyle could at least add, that everything must be doing moderately and reasonably. More than that, it seems that Laura Doyle wrote the book depended only on the female auditory, as the style of her talks and the writing in general is so, that it, perhaps, wouldnt be a pleasant experience for man to read it.
And it is a well-known fact, that a writer, no matter how good or bad, must rely on both sexes, respecting them and writing for both of them. Suggestion 3 Here the next idea is outlined not to express the opinion, but just say to the husband whatever you think. Thats a little bit strange suggestion, isnt it? It is strange, because the discussions about telling or not telling your own opinion take place today, when everybody has the right to talk about his ideas freely. But, of course, this could be told while speaking on intercommunication as an object of juridical practice and we are ….